Oregon legislators pass bipartisan bill to reduce suicide and domestic violence deaths

A statement from Ceasefire Oregon:

Today the Oregon legislature passed SB 719, the Extreme Risk Protection Order (ERPO) bill, which allows families and law enforcement to prevent tragedies by petitioning a court to temporarily suspend a person’s access to firearms and other dangerous weapons. The bill, cosponsored by Senator Boquist and Senator Burdick, is expected to be signed into law by Governor Kate Brown.

Oregonians now have an important tool to help reduce suicide, domestic violence, and shootings.

“People who are thinking of killing themselves or harming others often often show signs or declare their intentions well before committing the act. The first people to see those signs are often family members,” stated Joanne Skirving, president of Ceasefire Oregon. “An ERPO gives families and law enforcement a chance to intervene and perhaps prevent a tragedy. In Oregon, where suicide is 85% of all gunshot deaths, temporarily removing access to guns is especially important to prevent suicide.”

Washington state voters passed Initiative 14911, an ERPO law, in November 2016 by a 40 point margin (70% to 30%). Indiana and Connecticut2 also have versions of ERPO. In 2014, California passed AB 1014,3 called a Gun Violence Restraining Order, in response to a killing rampage earlier that year in Isla Vista.

Jenna Yuille of Americans for Responsible Solutions noted, “In 1999, Connecticut became the first state to pass a similar law and they've seen life-saving results. In the first 14 years of its implementation, police issued 762 orders, which helped save dozens of lives.4 We thank Senators Boquist and Burdick for their efforts to make ERPO a reality in Oregon.”

Once an ERPO has been filed, a court must find clear and convincing evidence that an individual is threatening harm to self or others, before the court can order the respondent to temporarily surrender any guns to the police. The respondent will not be able to buy, sell, or possess other firearms for a temporary period of time.

Penny Okamoto, executive director of Ceasefire Oregon explained the ERPO due process protections. “To protect the rights of the respondent, the bill establishes procedures for the respondent to request a hearing. The burden of proof is on the petitioner to show clear and convincing evidence.”  Okamoto added, “ERPOs are not to be taken lightly. False applications of ERPO or violation of ERPO is punishable by one year’s imprisonment, $6,250 fine or both.”

Passage of this bill has been a bipartisan effort across Oregon.

“Oregon continues to show that we can move past partisanship to find common ground when it comes to gun safety,” said Oregon Alliance for Gun Safety President Jenn Lynch. “Building on our bipartisan work in 2015 to address the nexus between domestic violence and gun violence, this legislation shows how leaders can move past political posturing to find real solutions to make our communities safer.”

Passing this bill is the culmination of work by many gun violence prevention advocates in Oregon including the family of Laura Magee, Melissa Keyser, Central Coast Ceasefire Oregon, Ceasefire Oregon, Americans for Responsible Solutions, the Oregon Alliance for Gun Safety, Gun Owners for Responsible Ownership, League of Women Voters of Oregon, Oregon Physicians for Social Responsibility, Oregon Brady Campaign, Pastor Mark Knutson, Rev. Lynne Smouse Lopez, Rev. Chuck Currie, Ecumenical Ministries of Oregon, Moms Demand Action, and Everytown for Gun Safety and thousands of individual gun violence prevention advocates across Oregon.

1. http://www.seattletimes.com/seattle-news/politics/extreme-risk-protection-order-initiative-1491/
2. https://www.thetrace.org/2016/09/gun-violence-restraining-order-suicide-reduction-connecticut/
3. http://smartgunlaws.org/californias-new-gun-violence-restraining-order-law/
4. Swanson, Jeffrey W. and Norko, Michael and Lin, Hsiu-Ju and Alanis-Hirsch, Kelly and Frisman, Linda and Baranoski, Madelon and Easter, Michele and Gilbert, Allison and Swartz, Marvin and Bonnie, Richard J., Implementation and Effectiveness of Connecticut's Risk-Based Gun Removal Law: Does it Prevent Suicides? (August 24, 2016). Law and Contemporary Problems, Forthcoming. Available at SSRN: http://ssrn.com/abstract=28288

September Is National Suicide Prevention Month.

September is National Suicide Prevention Month.

You could save the life of someone you love.

   

Did you know? In Oregon, at least one person every day takes his life by shooting himself to death.

   

Each year an average of 379 people in Oregon committed suicide using a gun. 

The highest rate of suicide by firearm is by White males over the age of 65. 

Removing firearms from the home, even temporarily, can save the life of someone you love.

From 2010 to 2014:

• 2,280 Oregonians died from firearms injuries.
• 1,897 were suicides.
• The highest firearm injury death rate occurred among White males, aged 65 and older, due to a high suicide rate (38.7 per 100,000).
• Firearms were used to kill in 87% of the homicide/suicide murders in Oregon.
• Almost half (44%) of people who died by firearm suicide had a depressed mood.  One-third had a diagnosed mental illness. About a quarter (27%) were being treated for a mental illness and 13% had a history of suicide.

To reduce the risk of suicide, keep all firearms securely locked, unloaded and stored separately from ammunition or store the firearms in another location such as a firearm storage facility. (If you transfer firearms to a friend, even temporarily, you are required by law to perform a background check on the person to whom you are transferring the firearms.)

Firearm owners are not more suicidal than non-firearm owners; rather, their suicide attempts are more likely to be fatal. If highly lethal means are made less available to impulsive attempters and they substitute less lethal means, or temporarily postpone their attempt, their survival odds greatly increase.

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Are you a teacher? Learn the signs of suicide and what you can do to prevent a tragedy. Read the Oregon Health Authority's informational page "What Every Teacher Should Know" or download the brochure.

The Ceasefire Oregon Education Foundation partners with Lines for Life and the Oregon Youth Suicide Prevention Program.

For more information: Oregon Violent Death Reporting System, Oregon Injury and Violence Prevention Program

How To Talk About Guns And Suicide

An ER doctor, Emmy Betz, talks plainly about suicide and gun availability in this TED talk ...



In other words, means matter, and guns are the most lethal means available for suicides.

Some good quotes:

"But I also ask [the patient] a question - an important question - that I think we all need to be asking anyone at risk of suicide.  Do you have access to a gun?"

"But the thing is, this is not political.  This is about helping protect the people we love, the people we care about, when they are in times of crisis."

Survivor Story: Khary Penebaker

Today we have a guest post by Khary Penebaker, whose mother, while Khary was still an infant, committed suicide with a gun that had been given to her as a gift despite battling depression.  As Khary mentions, he now works to try to prevent similar tragedies as the Survivor Outreach Leader for Moms Demand Action and Everytown for Gun Safety in Wisconsin, where he has a family with three children.

Khary's story illustrates the heart-wrenching effects that gun violence and suicide can have on a family.  If you know anyone who shows signs of suicidal thoughts or severe depression, please remove any guns or other lethal means.  See the addendum, at the bottom of this post, for a link to warning signs, suicide phone hotline, and other information.

Here is Khary's story, which is cross-posted from the Moms Demand Action Faces of Courage site, here:

Khary Penebaker as an infant, with his mother and father

I am a 37-year-old man and I don’t remember my mom. I don’t know her birthday. I don’t know her voice, her touch, her smell. I don’t know much about her. On September 8, 1978, she committed suicide with a gun that my grandfather had given her. She died from a self-inflicted gunshot wound to the head, alone in her car. She left behind an infant who would never get to grow up with his mom.

For most of my life, I have struggled with two questions: how much could I be worth if my mom wasn’t willing to push through her depression, and why she did this to me? Neither question really has an answer—or at least an answer that would be worthwhile, given the fact that it wouldn’t bring her back or make this never-ending pain go away.

I have only had two real conversations about my mom and what happened to her. The first occurred in January of 1996 when I was a senior in high school. I had been snooping around my father’s things and stumbled upon her death certificate. I knew my mother committed suicide with a gun, but reading the death certificate meant learning for the first time what exactly had happened without any sugar-coating. After reading it, I felt like my already shaky existence was thrown into a whirlwind of more self-doubt and even greater grief. I told my father what I had found and that sparked the first and the last conversation we had about her. I could tell it was hard for him to talk about, just as it was hard for me to hear. I didn’t want to press him on it because I felt maybe it was easier on both of us if we just avoided the talk so we could pretend the pain wasn’t there.

The second conversation was in 2000 with my grandmother—the first time I had asked her about my mom. She told me some fun stories and tried to fill in some blanks, but she knew that a few hours of a conversation wouldn’t erase the two decades of time I had lost with my mother.

I have never blamed my mother’s death on the gun itself. However, I do wonder if things would have been different had she not had access to it since she had a long history of depression. Suicide is often an act of impulse; if that gun hadn’t been there maybe she would have pushed through that low point and been alive today. Suicide attempts committed with a firearm are twenty-one times more likely to result in a fatality than several other methods, including suffocation (69%), falls (31%), and poisoning/overdose (2%). When parents store their guns safely, they dramatically lower the chance of accidental shootings and suicides in their homes. But more than two million American children live in homes with unsecured guns, and for them and their families, preventable deaths are a real threat.

I wish I could go back in time and tell my grandparents to secure that gun so my mom couldn’t get to it. I wish I could have told my mom everything was going to be okay and that I was worth living for… but I can’t. I have to live every day with lingering, unanswerable questions.

I don’t wish this pain or the emptiness I often feel on my worst enemy. My father eventually remarried and, while my new mom has been a godsend, I will always long for the opportunity to hug my mom, to kiss her, to take in her smell and the way she feels, to know her, to see myself in her, to have her meet her grandkids. I want something to remember her by other than old pictures, which usually just trigger a wave of nearly unbearable emotion. Her suicide robbed me of part of myself.

Despite a difficult start to my life, I have been very fortunate. I am married with three awesome kids. My wife loves me, even with this burden I have to bear. There is an immense amount of security and reassurance in that alone.

Beyond my wife and kids, I also find comfort in helping others who have been personally affected by gun violence. Recently, I became a volunteer Survivor Outreach Leader for Moms Demand Action and Everytown for Gun Safety in Wisconsin. In this role, I am connecting with family members of victims and survivors of gun violence to give them support and help them, if they choose, to become advocates for gun safety.

Before my involvement with Everytown, I practically never spoke about or even let myself think of my mother. But, during the training for the position, I had the opportunity to meet others who had been through similar tragedies, and I shared my story with them, confronting it head on. The support I received—and continue to receive—from them has empowered me in ways I never could have imagined. I didn’t know that my experience was something I could open up to anyone about, and learning that I’m not alone in this journey has made all the difference to me. I am looking forward to providing this same support to others.

Addendum (added by Baldr): 

Call 911 if you are in imminent danger to yourself or others, or

Call 1-800-SUICIDE or 1-800-273-8255

I, too, have lost a friend to a suicidal shooting.  Please see HERE for a list of suicide warning signs. See HERE for statistics around suicide and guns.  For more information, see also the Ceasefire Oregon Education Foundation WEBPAGE for suicide prevention.  

Every life is precious, including yours.

The Problem Of Guns And Suicide

This week is Mental Illness Awareness Week.  What better time than now to focus on the problem of suicide, which is usually the result of depression or PTSD. 

In my last post, guest blogger Erin Neathery described the effect that suicide had on her, after her husband ended his own life.  In mid-September, during National Suicide Prevention Week, I also posted about the suicide of a friend of mine, Guy Parsons, in my teen years.  In both cases, a firearm was used.

Some important statistics to keep in mind: 

• A little over half of all suicides in the United States use firearms. 
• More than 90% of attempts with firearms are fatal, far outweighing the success rate of other methods (such as drug overdose or cutting, which are about 3% successful) (source). 
• Suicides account for over half of all shootings.  
• Although most gun owners reportedly keep a firearm in their home for "protection" or "self defense," 83 percent of gun-related deaths in these homes are the result of a suicide, often by someone other than the gun owner.
• The majority of suicides are from an impulsive decision.  Seventy percent of suicide attempters decide to kill themselves on an impulse - less than an hour before their attempt.  The ready availability of guns makes for a deadly combination.
• Ninety percent of people who survive a suicide attempt do not go on to die by suicide.  
• 75% of youth suicides by gun used a parent's firearm.

The "why" of suicide is very important, but we also cannot ignore the "how" of suicide.  The availability of guns to suicidal people is a deadly combination.  Means matter.

For more statistics on guns and suicide, see the Brady Campaign web page on the topic.

Despite the fact that there are more suicide shootings than homicidal shootings or accidental shootings, you nonetheless almost never hear about them in the media.  As one medical professional I know recently told me, "The only time a suicide is reported is when it's a famous person or really young person who has been bullied before they committed suicide."  I would add that it is also reported if the suicide was in a very public manner or was a murder/suicide.  An acquaintance of mine who makes her living as a crime scene cleanup service, commented on the matter, saying, "Since suicides are rarely reported in the media, only those of us working in law enforcement, as first responders, or in crime scene cleanup see the full scope of the problem."  Here in Eugene, according to her, there is at least one suicide a week that she hears about.  So far this year, I only know of one that was reported in the media here, at it was a murder/suicide.

I know from the death of my friend that the suicide of a friend or loved one is intensely personal and wounding.  For this reason, most are not reported in the media, and usually those who were affected don't wish to talk about it.  This is understandable.

But the silence is also deadly.

Because of the silence, people vastly underestimate the scope of the problem.  This lulls them into a false sense of security.  They may realize that a loved one is depressed or acting irrationally, and may even hear them talk about suicide, but they don't think it could happen to them.  You hardly ever hear about it, after all, right?

If you know someone who is suicidal, there are some commonsense steps you can take to prevent tragedy.  Take every suicidal statement from someone seriously, no matter how insincere they seem.  Stay with them.  If possible, remove lethal weapons and non-critical medicines from the home, or urge them to do so voluntarily.  Get them mental counseling.  Tell other family and friends to watch them for danger signs.  These steps may seem imposing to some people, but imposing on someone is far better than losing them forever.

The American Foundation for Suicide Prevention is an excellent source to learn about suicide prevention and warning signs.  Go here to find out about the risk factors and warning signs.  Click here to find out what you can do to help prevent suicide.  The C.A.R.E.S. suicide prevention organization is also a great resource.

Erin Neathery: When Is Enough, Enough?

Today we have a guest blogger, Erin Neathery.  Erin is a creative director from Arizona who lost her husband, Wayne Henschke, to suicide by self-inflicted gunshot wound in 1991.  Since then, she has become active in gun violence prevention as a member of Arizonans For Gun Safety, has advocated to keep guns off campus, and has coordinated events with the Brady Campaign Against Gun Violence.  Here are Erin's observations on how gun violence has affected her....

I always knew a gun would alter my life. I have no idea how I knew, but I did. One of the most vivid dreams I ever had was when I was just 18 or 19 years old. I saw myself, clearly older, sitting in a chair, rocking a child, and I was staring into the barrel of a gun. Who was holding it? I had no clue. But the dream disturbed me enough that I wrote it down.  And I remembered it years later, when a single gunshot shattered my life. In an instant, my husband was gone.

While I never had a burning desire to have children, I liked knowing I could do so one day. But my ovaries became diseased while I was still very young; and so my fertility and eventually the ovaries themselves, were gone. The child in my dream did not exist, and never would.

When the subject of children comes up, I exclaim, “Oh, my gosh! I forgot to have them!” Over the past 19 years, I’ve gotten pretty good at the acceptable responses. I know most people don’t mean to hurt by their words. I shrug it off most days, and I consider all children my own. I don’t have to be a parent to know they are precious.

IT, the bullet, the suicide, the aftermath, is something I rarely speak about anymore, and the few people who do know tend to forget it is part of my fabric. I try to never let it show. Some days it’s hard, like when people say things in passing like “I’m going to shoot myself.” Or do that awful pantomime where they make the gun with one hand, and mimic the bloodshed with the other. I just pretend to not really hear the words, or worse, visibly wince at the gesture. But each time I turn on the news, IT is all brought back fresh. Another life wasted. More lives shattered. More dreams destroyed.

And the pain is always there. It’s not all internal. It shows on my outside, through extra weight I carry, and in health issues stemming from prolonged periods of intense, unimaginable stress. On certain days, the pain is just lurking beneath the surface. And I’m never sure when those days will be.

When I am under stress, I dream of being chased; fleeing for my life. I am being hunted methodically and then I am shot point blank, or I am trying to protect loved ones (usually my nieces and nephews) from some unknown assailant’s bullets, shielding them with my own body as best as I can, trying to save them. Those dreams stick with me for a while before I can shake it off again, and go back to “normal”. I never talk about those.

Today, I understand that I suffer from PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder), although I would be considered as very high functioning. It’s something I only recently recognized. I saw aspects of myself in the story of friend, who was brave enough to write a book in hopes of helping others. (She did. And is.) My self-diagnosis was confirmed by a doctor, years after the onset. What I do with that, I don’t know. But at least I can stop silently berating myself for not being over something that it may not be possible to “get over” because it has literally become part of my biological chemistry.

Yep, this girl has baggage that was thrust upon her by someone else’s actions, someone else’s undiagnosed, untended mental illness; one that ended for him that cold night in September, 1992 when he put a single bullet through his head at our home, leaving behind a huge pool of blood, bone and brain matter spattered everywhere, and an indelible stain on my life. I could have just as easily been a casualty that night. Actually, I was. I just wasn’t part of the body count. Nor were all the others who were affected by his death. The ripple, the aftershock, spreads further than you might imagine.

In more recent years, the sudden descent into the depths of mental illness happened twice within my own family, and I learned firsthand about the perils of the human mind unhinged, our health care system, and of just how far you have to push to get help for those who need it the most. Their right to be crazy trumps your right to try to get them proper treatment, to save them.

And so I’m still waiting for my pain to stop. I’ve had enough. I don’t mean that in the sense that I would put my family and friends through the type of suffering I have gone through. I wouldn’t wish this on my worst enemy, as the saying goes.

What I do I mean is that I am sick and tired of people going around shooting themselves and shooting one another, simply because they can access a gun. Even worse, they can get hold of big, juicy ammo clips that hold an awful lot of death and destruction, and then go forth and wreak as much death and destruction as they possibly can before they “punch their own ticket”, as my father says, or someone else puts a bullet into them.

That’s a tremendous amount of power and responsibility to hand out to whomever decides they want it and shouts that they have a right to wield it. No matter which side they’re on. Our forefathers would shudder at what we’ve become in their name.

I long to put my baggage down, but I’ve finally realized that the only way I can possibly do so is by picking up the proverbial pen and speaking out. I’ve made my living, and continue to do so, by writing for an ad agency. Over the 25+ years of my career, I’ve learned that every sales problem can be boiled down to a single point. “What’s the pain?” we ask. In this case, the pain is literal, the pain is widespread, and it’s time we talked about it. It’s time we stopped letting a relatively small group of powerful lobbyists for the NRA tell us we don’t matter, they will not negotiate EVER on gun control so don’t even TRY to take away our precious assault rifles or big juicy ammo clips again. I say BULLSHIT. The time for us to be heard and FIGHT is NOW.

So here I sit. Deciding to stop pretending it’s all OK, and asking myself what is the point of me, of anyone, having to suffer like this if we don’t learn from it; grow from it; effect CHANGE so that others don’t have to go through it. Indeed. And what about our collective pain? The things we’ve been touched by and grieved as a nation in my lifetime alone?

Dallas. The McDonald’s Massacre. Columbine. Memphis. Luby’s Cafeteria. Omaha. Virginia Tech. The Amish School. These sit at the top of my consciousness, but sadly, no, horrifically, there is no end to the daily madness and death toll by gun. Especially not for those directly involved. The people left behind after the news cycle. The ones left behind as the door closes quietly as the police take their leave. The ones who slump to the floor, trying to figure out whom to call first to break the terrible, awful, blood soaked news even as their hands shake uncontrollably, too unsteady to dial the phone. The ones trying desperately to learn how to simply keep going in the aftermath.

It’s so easy and so simple for people to push away the reality when it’s someone else’s child. Someone else’s father. Brother. Sister. Wife. Husband. Mother. Daughter. Son. Friend. It’s time to stop pushing things away, and start pushing for change.

And so I ask you, when is enough, enough?

And then there was Tucson. In the aftermath, our President challenged us all to be better people. To make this country a place that lives up to the expectations of a nine-year-old child who was born on the day this nation was stricken by an incomprehensible tragedy. A child who died on the day this nation was stricken by an incomprehensible tragedy. A child who we CANNOT allow to have died in vain.

Many died that day; others lived, and their stories were heart wrenching; they were valiant and most of all, they hit home. The young intern, who cradled Gabby Giffords to his chest and tried to staunch the flow of blood from her head.

The elderly man who shielded his wife’s body with his own. He gave his life so that she might live.

The mother who threw herself in front of her teen daughter, and was shot three times. My nightmare, playing out in full, bloody Technicolor. In real life, they both lived.

The kindly family friend who brought a bright, inquisitive nine-year-old girl to see their Congresswoman. Whose anguish at not being able to save this beautiful child entrusted to her care haunts her, even as she struggles to recover from three bullet wounds.

The two men who pinned the gunman to the ground, even as he struggled to reload.

The middle-aged mom who wrested a big fat, juicy clip full of death from the hands of the gunman as he struggled to reload.

The gunman, who was once a nine-year-old boy, the embodiment of the hopes and dreams of his parents. Now he’s forever the child who slipped away into madness, and took others with him.

These people are not someone else. They’re our family. Our neighbors. Our friends. THEY ARE US.

So when will enough be enough?

I’m sick and tired of hearing hateful words pouring out of people, and in turn, feeling hateful by being exposed to it. I’m sick and tired of ignorance and fear. I’m sick and tired of seeing homeless people who are clearly mentally ill, and who are homeless primarily because there is no health care available for them.

I’m sick and tired of the NRA shouting about the constitution and their Second Amendment rights and of zealots touting Second Amendment remedies. I’m sick and tired of politics and divisiveness and “us and them” mentality. We are ALL human. WE. ARE. ALL. HUMAN.

Since I was nine, more than one million sons, daughters, moms, dads, wives and husbands, neighbors and friends have been killed though gun violence and suicide by gun. ONE MILLION. And I look at my soon to be nine-year-old nephew, and I pray that he doesn't have to live in a world where this is acceptable, where this is the norm. I pray the same for the child down the block. And down the next one, and the next, to Tucson, and beyond. I don’t have to be a parent to know they are precious.

We don't have to live in a world where this is the norm. Why, I ask, is this acceptable? It’s NOT. We have to make a choice. Can we please have a civil discussion about what we want our society, and our lives and our children’s world to be like going forward?

We are Columbine. We are Virginia Tech. We are Tucson. We are human.

Don’t push away the reality because it’s someone else’s child. Someone else’s father. Brother. Sister. Wife. Husband. Mother. Daughter. Son. Friend.

It could just as easily be you, or someone you love. And if it were, would it be enough then?

When is enough, enough?

Please, please, let it be NOW.

Since the Tucson shooting on January 9, 2011, there have been more than 61 mass shootings.

ADDENDUM (From Baldr):  If you know someone who is suicidal, there are some commonsense steps you can take to prevent tragedy.  The American Foundation for Suicide Prevention is an excellent source to learn about suicide prevention and warning signs.  Go here to find out about the risk factors and warning signs.  Click here to find out what you can do to help prevent suicide.  The C.A.R.E.S. suicide prevention organization is also a great resource.

Remembering Guy Parsons, and National Suicide Prevention Week

This week is National Suicide Prevention Week.  It is a time for us to reflect on the tragedy of people who feel so desperate and depressed that they feel life isn't worth continuing.  Maybe they feel bullied.  Maybe they are chronically ill.  Maybe they have lost a loved one.  Whatever the cause, the end of their suffering, sadly, is the extension of pain to those who survive them.

According to the CDC, almost 57% of violent deaths in America are due to suicide.  Firearms are used in just over 50% of suicide attempts (71.7% in males, 46.4% in females).  More than 90% of attempts using firearms are successful, far exceeding the success rate by any other method.

From one source:

More than 90% of suicide attempts using guns are successful, while the success rate for jumping from high places was 34%. The success rate for drug overdose was 2%, the brief said, citing studies.

"Other methods are not as lethal," a co-director of the Johns Hopkins Center for Gun Policy and Research in Baltimore, Jon Vernick, said.

I have lost a friend to suicide.  When I was 15 years old I had a friend named Guy Parsons, who was a couple years younger than me.  I didn't think I had any pictures of him and me together.  Then, the other day, I was digging around for something in my attic and found an old Middle School yearbook.  There, in a group picture of the Science Club, Guy and I were both in the group.  Guy is the one with the red arrow.  I'm the one with the green arrow.

Guy Parsons, age 13

Guy was a rambunctious teen, always quick with a joke and very active.  We were in the same Boy Scout troop (his great uncle was our scout master), camping and running crazy in the woods.  But Guy was a bit awkward, socially.  He was overweight.  He was hyper.  He had problems fitting in.

Then one day, not long after that Science Club picture was taken, I learned he had gotten hold of his family's Colt .45 revolver.  His sister came home to discover him with a fatal, self-inflicted wound the head.  The gun had been bought for self-protection.  Obviously, his father failed to secure the gun or consider the consequences of having it in the house, and he didn't think about the possibility that his son might use it.

As we say at the Kid Shootings blog, "Every gun in the hands of a child must first pass through the hands of an adult."

I went to Guy's funeral and saw the overwhelming sadness in a room that was packed with the many people who loved him, many standing because there weren't enough seats in the largest room the funeral home had. 

Afterward, the name of Guy Parsons rarely came up around me.  People didn't want to think about who might be at fault, who might have missed the warning signs, or relive the sadness that it brought.  As far as I could tell, his family didn't realize Guy was suicidal.  The tragedy of suicides is extremely personal.  That's why you practically never see news reports on suicides, even though they outnumber murders or shootings of any sort. 

Unfortunately, the silence is itself deadly.  If we don't talk about the problem -- if we pretend it the danger doesn't exist -- the deadly cycle will continue.

But it doesn't have to be this way. 

The American Foundation for Suicide Prevention is an excellent source to learn about suicide prevention and warning signs.  There are many risk factors.  Here is what they say about warning signs:

Warning signs of suicide include:

• Observable signs of serious depression:
  Unrelenting low mood
  Pessimism
  Hopelessness
  Desperation
  Anxiety, psychic pain and inner tension
  Withdrawal
  Sleep problems
• Increased alcohol and/or other drug use
• Recent impulsiveness and taking unnecessary risks
• Threatening suicide or expressing a strong wish to die
• Making a plan:
  Giving away prized possessions
  Sudden or impulsive purchase of a firearm
  Obtaining other means of killing oneself such as poisons or medications
• Unexpected rage or anger

If you know anyone who is suicidal or severely depressed, there are steps you can take.  Here are some of them:

• Take any threat of suicide seriously, no matter how "jokingly" or briefly it is presented. 
• Be willing to listen to them, at any time. 
• Be a friend and a shoulder to cry on.  Be there for them.  Try to stay optimistic, for their sake.
• Find your local suicide hotline and give it to them to post by the phone. 
• Don't leave them alone if the threat is imminent.
• Urge them to seek psychological help.
• Urge them to remove any weapons or unnecessary and dangerous medicines from their home.
• Alert other close friends and family to be there as well.

Some of these steps may seem imposing in some manner, and may require you to go the extra mile, but those small sacrifices are better than losing a friend or family member, and they will thank you later.

We can all work together to reduce suicides in America.  Let's make a new trajectory for our community away from gun violence.

RELATED:  HERE is a link to the "Stop Teenage Suicide" Facebook page.

ADDENDUM (9/17/12):  HERE is an informative fact sheet for youth suicide.

Already Matching Last Year for Shootings Here

It’s been a very difficult month so far in my area due to gun-related crimes and shootings. 

So far this month there have been six armed robberies here, bringing the total to 11 this year – all using guns, of course, as most armed robberies do.  Though at least a couple are tied to the same robber, there’s currently no evidence to suggest the others are related.  It’s hard to get good data of robberies that involve guns, using the city’s online statistics, but I watch the newspaper and online news reports carefully for my area.  This is a huge up-tick in armed robberies for this area, given that there were only two that I can find in all of last year (resulting in what was deemed a self-defense shooting but which may have actually been a drug deal gone wrong).  Luckily none of these recent robberies have resulted in injuries or deaths, and none of those who were held up tried to pull a gun of their own (since possessing a gun increases the chance of dying in a gun-related assault, and seeing a gun increases aggression).  And how do these criminals get guns, anyway?  In Oregon, they can buy from any private seller without the need for a background check, paperwork of any kind, or even showing ID.

Also this month, there was a suicide in Coburg, on the northern edge of Eugene, where a man shot himself to death in a car outside his business.  I wonder if the family and friends of this man knew he was suicidal, and if they knew he owned a gun.  Most suicides go unreported unless they are public, like this one.  So far this year there have been four reported suicides (including two that were murder/suicides).  In all of last year there were only two reported here.

And then in Springfield, a man who is a (legal) medical marijuana grower and his friend had been “on the town” when they returned the grower’s apartment.  The friend left, but quickly realized he had left his keys in the grower’s car.  After banging on the door and getting no answer, the friend helped himself inside through a side door or window.  The grower mistook him for someone trying to rob him of his marijuana plants and shot him twice in the leg.  The article didn’t say if either of them was under the influence of anything at the time of the shooting, but I think you know my feelings on the idea of medical marijuana users, or anyone under the influence of mind-altering compounds, possessing guns.  Though, like suicides, accidental shootings are not always reported, but this makes the third accidental shooting reported this year.  There were none reported in all of 2010 and 2009 in my area.  Luckily the friend was not killed.

So far this year there have been 12 shootings, already matching the record set last year , and 9 shooting deaths, also matching last year.  Shootings tend to have a marked increase in the last few months of the year here, so we are certain to break records this year. 

Let’s hope this is the end of this month’s shootings and gun crimes.  It’s time to bring some common sense legislation to Oregon’s lax gun laws.