This week is National
Suicide Prevention Week. It is a
time for us to reflect on the tragedy of people who feel so desperate and
depressed that they feel life isn't worth continuing. Maybe they feel bullied. Maybe they are chronically ill. Maybe they have lost a loved one. Whatever the cause, the end of their
suffering, sadly, is the extension of pain to those who survive them.
According to the
CDC, almost 57% of violent deaths in America are due to suicide. Firearms are used in just over 50% of suicide
attempts (71.7% in males, 46.4% in females).
More than 90% of attempts using firearms are successful, far exceeding
the success rate by any other method.
From one
source:
More than 90% of suicide attempts using guns are successful, while the success rate for jumping from high places was 34%. The success rate for drug overdose was 2%, the brief said, citing studies.
"Other methods are not as lethal," a co-director of the Johns Hopkins Center for Gun Policy and Research in Baltimore, Jon Vernick, said.
I have lost a friend to suicide. When I was 15 years old I had a friend named
Guy Parsons, who was a couple years younger than me. I didn't think I had any pictures of him and
me together. Then, the other day, I was
digging around for something in my attic and found an old Middle School
yearbook. There, in a group picture of the
Science Club, Guy and I were both in the group.
Guy is the one with the red arrow. I'm the one with the green arrow.
 |
| Guy Parsons, age 13 |
Guy was a rambunctious teen, always quick with a joke and
very active. We were in the same Boy Scout
troop (his great uncle was our scout master), camping and running crazy in the
woods. But Guy was a bit awkward,
socially. He was overweight. He was hyper.
He had problems fitting in.
Then one day, not long after that Science Club picture was
taken, I learned he had gotten hold of his family's Colt .45 revolver. His sister came home to discover him with a
fatal, self-inflicted wound the head.
The gun had been bought for self-protection. Obviously, his father failed to secure the
gun or consider the consequences of having it in the house, and he didn't think about the possibility that his son might use it.
As we say at the Kid
Shootings blog, "Every gun in the hands of a child must first pass
through the hands of an adult."
I went to Guy's funeral and saw the overwhelming sadness in
a room that was packed with the many people who loved him, many standing
because there weren't enough seats in the largest room the funeral home had.
Afterward, the name of Guy Parsons rarely came up around
me. People didn't want to think about
who might be at fault, who might have missed the warning signs, or relive the
sadness that it brought. As far as I
could tell, his family didn't realize Guy was suicidal. The tragedy of suicides is extremely
personal. That's why you practically
never see news reports on suicides, even though they outnumber murders or
shootings of any sort.
Unfortunately, the silence is itself deadly. If we don't talk about the problem -- if we
pretend it the danger doesn't exist -- the deadly cycle will continue.
But it doesn't have to be this way.
The
American Foundation for Suicide Prevention is an excellent source to learn
about suicide prevention and warning signs.
There are many risk
factors. Here
is what they say about warning signs:
Warning signs of suicide include:
- Observable signs of serious depression:
Unrelenting low mood
Pessimism
Hopelessness
Desperation
Anxiety, psychic pain and inner tension
Withdrawal
Sleep problems- Increased alcohol and/or other drug use
- Recent impulsiveness and taking unnecessary risks
- Threatening suicide or expressing a strong wish to die
- Making a plan:
Giving away prized possessions
Sudden or impulsive purchase of a firearm
Obtaining other means of killing oneself such as poisons or medications- Unexpected rage or anger
If you know anyone who is suicidal or severely depressed,
there are steps
you can take. Here are some of them:
- Take any threat of suicide seriously, no matter how "jokingly" or briefly it is presented.
- Be willing to listen to them, at any time.
- Be a friend and a shoulder to cry on. Be there for them. Try to stay optimistic, for their sake.
- Find your local suicide hotline and give it to them to post by the phone.
- Don't leave them alone if the threat is imminent.
- Urge them to seek psychological help.
- Urge them to remove any weapons or unnecessary and dangerous medicines from their home.
- Alert other close friends and family to be there as well.
Some of these steps may seem imposing in some manner, and
may require you to go the extra mile, but those small sacrifices are better
than losing a friend or family member, and they will thank you later.
